May 27, 1998
In this issue:
  Cup Runneth Over
  Requiem for a Highball
  Dream Territory
  Bill and Loathing
  Bovine Intervention
  Navigation   Kinko's may hold the patent on "America's Way to Office" (whose bright idea to make that word a verb?) but the good folks at Department Lemur are keen on revamping the process all the same. I tell you, without the unlimited supply of espresso and biscotti, the foot and ego massage, swimming pool, the first-run movies (this week: Wayne Wang's glorious "Chinese Box") and the live performances by Philip Glass in our auditorium (he's rehearsing an operetta of John Hughes' "Breakfast Club" - you haven't lived until you've heard "Blister In The Sun" as one of his polytonal rounds), I don't think I could drag myself in to write the pop culture report week after week. Paychecks are nice, but comfort is king.
 
 
   
 
OK.
  LIQUID ASSET

Coca-Cola's attempt to outwit those who would accuse them of corporate fascism worked like a charm: their Gen-X anti-product, O.K. Soda, bombed in such immediate garage-punk obscurity that few in their target audience ever knew it existed. Billed as a "unique, fruity soda" (alas, The Passenger never had a chance to sample it), the taste was inadvertently placed second to the packaging when the corporate giant asked "Eightball" creator Daniel Clowes to create a variety of original can designs. There's something disconcerting about seeing one of Clowe's sullen, forlorn teenaged mugs glaring at you from a beverage container; something curiously beautiful as well. No matter - Coke pulled the product, shamed by their attempt to go hardcore, and only this handsome, minimalist fan site marks its passing. All-righty, then.
 

 
   
 
This week's staff meeting notes
  ELSE THE PUCK A LIAR CALL

Terrapindream takes the sometimes-grim raw material of Brooklynite Terry Baker's life and reconstitutes it as a hazy and attractive vision. Incorporating Baker's personal journal and artwork, this "appendage" to his life often reads like a dream, with sharp, extemporaneous prose detailing the artist's take on the beggars he encounters in the subway, neurosis in animals and his colorful, chaotic friend the Professor. Baker's ongoing story - the man's life! - is funny, touching and as close as the nose on your face: you feel like you know him after following his life for just a short time. His digital collage work adds immeasurably to what is already an embarrassment of riches: the breathtaking visage of the soul laid bare.
 

 
   
AlexWarp
  GATES OF PERCEPTION

Cheesed off at Bill Gates? Waiting impatiently for your copy of Windows 98? Want to pimp-slap the man with the keyboard of your G3? Don't get mad; get surreal. Alex Rosen's fabulous Java application AlexWarp allows you to mutate the Microsoft chairman's amiable mug into an unlimited number of freakish countenances. A grand and glorious thing.
 

 
   
 
Half-A-Cow
  THE BARNYARD CONNECTION

Seems like everywhere we go these days - New York, Bali, Vegas, Wales - there's a Half-A-Cow dogging our every move, fixing us in her lazy eye. This playful site tries to figure out why: why there's half-bovines everywhere (check out the stunning photographic evidence), why we care and why in heaven's name anyone would document such a thing. This is one of those easygoing and largely meaningless sites that gives The Passenger hope for the medium. Why not? Oh yeah, Bessie, keep smiling ...

Hey, Philip picked me for the coveted part of Bender! Holy smokes, I'd better get my hair feathered ... I'll see you neo-maxi-zoom-dweebies in a week or so, if I'm out of detention by then. Adios!



 
   
The Passenger first appeared on Vegas.com and ran from March 1998 until February 2000.

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