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Kinko's may hold the patent on "America's Way to Office" (whose bright
idea to make that word a verb?) but the good folks at Department Lemur
are keen on revamping the process all the same. I tell you, without the
unlimited supply of espresso and biscotti, the foot and ego massage,
swimming pool, the first-run movies (this week: Wayne Wang's glorious
"Chinese Box") and the live performances by Philip Glass in our
auditorium (he's rehearsing an operetta of John Hughes' "Breakfast Club"
- you haven't lived until you've heard "Blister In The Sun" as one of
his polytonal rounds), I don't think I could drag myself in to write the
pop culture report week after week. Paychecks are nice, but comfort is
king.
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LIQUID ASSET
Coca-Cola's attempt to outwit those who would accuse them of corporate
fascism worked like a charm: their Gen-X anti-product, O.K. Soda, bombed in such immediate garage-punk
obscurity that few in their target audience ever knew it existed. Billed
as a "unique, fruity soda" (alas, The Passenger never had a chance to
sample it), the taste was inadvertently placed second to the packaging
when the corporate giant asked "Eightball" creator Daniel Clowes to
create a variety of original can designs. There's something
disconcerting about seeing one of Clowe's sullen, forlorn teenaged mugs
glaring at you from a beverage container; something curiously beautiful
as well. No matter - Coke pulled the product, shamed by their attempt to
go hardcore, and only this handsome, minimalist fan site marks its
passing. All-righty, then.
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ELSE THE PUCK A LIAR CALL
Terrapindream takes
the sometimes-grim raw material of Brooklynite Terry Baker's life and
reconstitutes it as a hazy and attractive vision. Incorporating Baker's
personal journal and artwork, this "appendage" to his life often reads
like a dream, with sharp, extemporaneous prose detailing the artist's
take on the beggars he encounters in the subway, neurosis in animals and
his colorful, chaotic friend the Professor. Baker's ongoing story - the
man's life! - is funny, touching and as close as the nose on your face:
you feel like you know him after following his life for just a short
time. His digital collage work adds immeasurably to what is already an
embarrassment of riches: the breathtaking visage of the soul laid bare.
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GATES OF PERCEPTION
Cheesed off at Bill Gates? Waiting impatiently for your copy of Windows
98? Want to pimp-slap the man with the keyboard of your G3? Don't get
mad; get surreal. Alex Rosen's fabulous Java application AlexWarp allows you to mutate the Microsoft chairman's amiable mug into an unlimited number of freakish
countenances. A grand and glorious thing.
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THE BARNYARD CONNECTION
Seems like everywhere we go these days - New York, Bali, Vegas, Wales -
there's a Half-A-Cow dogging our every move,
fixing us in her lazy eye. This playful site tries to figure out why:
why there's half-bovines everywhere (check out the stunning photographic
evidence), why we care and why in heaven's name anyone would document
such a thing. This is one of those easygoing and largely meaningless
sites that gives The Passenger hope for the medium. Why not? Oh yeah,
Bessie, keep smiling ...
Hey, Philip picked me for the coveted part of Bender! Holy smokes, I'd
better get my hair feathered ... I'll see you neo-maxi-zoom-dweebies in
a week or so, if I'm out of detention by then. Adios!
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The Passenger first appeared on Vegas.com and ran from March 1998 until February 2000.
Back to list of Passenger columns
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