Went to the Hard Rock last week to see classic gloom-rock ensemble The Bauhaus. I know they're just plain Bauhaus, but I much prefer The Bauhaus - you know, like The Saint, The Donald, The Lewinsky. Call me crazy, because I am.

Anyway, I just want you to know that no matter how much peer pressure comes to bear, that will never be me. As fond as I am of the whole black-on-black thing, I'll never be one of those crazy, translucent kids with their mascara, strange role models, offbeat hobbies and kinky home lives.

Come to think of it, I'm already doing all that stuff. Now all The Passenger has to do is find a brand of mascara that he's not allergic to. Undead, undead!
 

Before Xena, there was Diana - Wonder Woman to the folks at home. The redoubtable DC comics icon comes from an island of Amazon women, wears a skin-tight red and blue outfit, wields a magic lasso against her enemies that compels them to tell the truth and cut her teeth pounding Nazis - am I the only one who sees the presidential potential? This comprehensive fan site covers all the bases - Diana's still-active career as a DC superheroine, the infamous bullet-deflecting bracelets, the ever-popular costume and all its permutations, the mid-'70s television adaptation with Lucy Lawless prototype Lynda Carter and the so-annoying-it's-wonderful theme song that accompanied the series. And yes, that's The Debra Winger as Wonder Girl. Take these bracelets, young crimestoppers, and knock yourselves out.
 

I'll trade you a fifth of gin and a whiff of nitrous oxide for your PB&J. No? Well, then, let's just compare lunchboxes. Jim Cassidy's Lunch Box Bonanza is pretty much the final word in acquiring and maintaining the underrated collectibles. If you're old enough to remember the golden era of lunchboxing - Lee Majors, "Speed Buggy," and boxes made of tin, not plastic - you'll love the gallery photos of Cassidy's vast collection. They stir a curious nostalgia: a combination of yearning for days gone by, for the halcyon days of Bionic fiction and for that processed cheese-and-cracker stuff. A few of the boxes in Cassidy's collection, like "Carnival", are actually quite beautiful, and his collection of toys isn't half bad either. Bring an apple, a thermos of soup and your Gold Card.
 

Pardon the presumption, but you haven't lived until you've had a hot dog fried on a burning disc brake rotor. The TCS Hot Dog Page provides this and a number of other intriguing hot dog recipes, including some that include active volcanoes and spontaneous combustion, and one or two that are somewhat serious. And you ain't lived until you've travelled the world with The Dancing Hot Dog. This page is funnier than a pocket full of sauerkraut, and less aromatic by half. A fitting tribute to nature's perfect food.