The Passenger has Been There. I have taken potentially dangerous prescription drugs. I have worn makeup at strategic times (usually before class pictures were taken). I have enjoyed weird sex of every stripe. I have worn stretch-pants (1986, Dead or Alive's "Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know" tour). I have drank human blood (pricked my thumb on a brooch, same Dead or Alive gig). I have experienced "moral flexibility". I have descended to the very pit of hell (had to do an article on Michael Ventura. So ... I guess what I'm trying to say is, how can I become more like Marilyn Manson?
 

An absolute godsend. More than just another recipe site, Epicurious will take you from the art of dining to the act of dining and back again, reciting the gospel of mangia-mangia in mouth-watering detail. Even if your initial attempts to boil water went up in flames, Epicurious' basic recipes will have you effortlessly slinging out "Nonthreatening Vegetables" and "Foolproof Desserts" before you realize the spirit has taken you. Correct table manners, a great reserve of cocktail recipes and more than a few other helpful surprises will have you polishing your silverware, if you have any. Get off the White Castle and Yoo-Hoo for an evening, and get a taste for the finer stuff.
 

I first heard "Doc on The ROQ's" stunning recitation of Francis E. Dec's "Gangster Computer God Worldwide Secret Containment Policy" in a song by Seattle's Critter's Buggin. They sampled Doc / Dec's vamp on the nefarious "Computer God" and his diabolical "Frankenstein Earphone Radio" for a song called "Bill Gates," and damn if it didn't sound so ... so logical, so help me. And Dec is but one poster boy hanging out in Donna Kossy's mind-bending Kooks Museum, an institution that honors those that do indeed Think Different and will never, ever appear in a Macintosh ad. Cozy up to Steve Lightfoot, who really believes that part-time schlockmeister Stephen King shot John Lennon, on direct orders from Richard Nixon. ("My thoughts then were that Nixon was a criminal genius as no one would ever believe such a truth no matter how provable with facts.") Run with the ranks of the Aggressive Christianity Missions Training Corps, whose plan to set teenaged America on the straight and narrow is championed by no less than Captain Jesus himself. ("Let me point out to you that 'meek' doesn't mean 'weak,' " says ACMTC Brigadier General Jim Green. "Jesus Christ, our captain, doesn't want His soldiers to be weak, soft, or soggy.") Just two short years to the Y2K - do you know where your Frankenstein controls are?
 

"If you're a TV set showing Regis promoting a diet book, and you're in a room with an angry unpublished poet holding a sledgehammer, watch out," advises Mr. Steve Martin, one of the sharpest writers of satire to raise the pen since Sam Clemens took the last boat out. His new book, "Pure Drivel," contains his hilarious writings from the New Yorker and other publications, pieces that demand multiple readings: his musings on Raphael's lesser works, paparazzi, and the Times Roman Font are priceless. This tremendously well-done fan site also features lucid, thoughtful interviews with Martin, samples of his recorded material, and, oh yes, a thorough look at his career as a star of stage, screen and television, from "The Jerk" to "The Spanish Prisoner". But as much as I like his extracurricular work, I think I prefer him a writer, and I get the feeling he does, too.